I was faced with a choice, at a difficult age. Would I write a book, or should I take to the stage

Wednesday, January 18


It's disgraceful that we were just looking at our half-arsed "Fop: to do" list and noticed that one of many outstanding items scrawled there is "provide commentary on Ciara '1-2 Step'", a song which came out almost a year ago. We are so very slack, as Guy Symposiast, Jellyfish, Mel and other Fop Symposiast 2005 participants whose contributions we haven't put up yet for NO GOOD REASON would definitely attest. (THEY ARE GOING UP ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY! SORRY WE ARE SHIT, YOU ARE RIGHT TO HATE US!)

Anyway, in the interests of dealing with neglected matters, this is what we think/can remember of a song that came out so long ago it's almost trendy and retro to write about it now.

How does this one go again? "Now let me see you 1-2 step. I can show you 1-2 step. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah."

Oh we suppose it’s actually one of the better things that was in the top 10 during 2005, on account of its jaunty, whistly, quite minimal-ish production. However, this sadly counts for little, given the preponderance of James Blunt, Black Eyed Peas and 50 Cent in that list over the same period. Missy Elliott was present in the song's video (and you know what THAT means she's almost certainly been doing with the unfortunate Ciara) but adds little value (apart from a little embarrassing dance). It's a nice thing to have a song that's all about a dance routine in the chart - the last such "work" we recall doing well here was Steps "5,6,7,8" - but this is pretty pissy on quite a number of fronts.

Fop rating: an overgenerous 3 Gretels out of 5:


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