"Geri Halliwell I found was unprofessinal"

If you've had anything to do with a Kylie Minogue messageboard over the past 8 years or so, then chances are you've got at least a passing acquaintance with a crazed Kylie fan going by the name of Sarah Ure. Every day for Sarah is one of an Extreme Kylie Appreciation Mania of the most demented variety available. This usually means:

1. LISTING OFF a rambling, poorly drafted summation of Kylie's various career achievements à propos of nothing at all

2. DELIVERING a barrage of comedy (but very serious) insults in the direction of anyone who may not have expressed the levels of Kylie love that Sarah expects of other members of the fan community

3. CALLING Madonna, Geri and Jennifer Lopez fans whores/sluts

4. ISSUING constant threats to dob to the moderators/the police in respect of anyone she feels may have slighted her or Kylie

5. INVENTING additional forum users with improbable names like "Miss Carriage" and "Bianca" to carry on polite, agreeable and vaguely illiterate conversations with Sarah about Kylie

So you can see why we like her, surely.

Surprisingly, Sarah has been banned from the Kylie forums and has, we were pleased to discover recently, STARTED UP HER OWN. (It isn’t going very well.)

It's over here.

We now provide some samples of Sarah's not-in-any-way-troubling devotion from her new forums, where it appears that she's been having some problems with interlopers recently.

* you are a maddona fan coming here to make trouble you are a evil nasty maddona fan who so just fuck of you fucking slut.

*I have you ISp addressthat tells me who you are and why you live I get you I will my gagster mates will sort you out you whore

*cool cat you sad cow you will not get my baord closed down because I get you banned from this board

*kylie is clearly rivelling in her renewed pop star status. kylie is 125 cm tall. kylie is our little girl. kylie is now 11 years old. kylie is currently in syndey in preperation for her first of 12 shows for her 'fever' tour.

*Kylie Minogue did not jsut get a record deal with Pwl when in neighbours no she signed up to mushroom after winning a Audition to mushroom records and had a huge hit with Locumotion and she cowrote the B side Glad to be alive she came to London with her manager Terry Blamey and spent a whole year looking for a record deal she was turned down by record compaines until PWL signed her up Kylie started cowriting and wrinting her own songs with her 3rd PWL album and she always sung live in concert, Kylie Minogue proved she couls sing as far back as 1989 when she performed with a live band on a Australian chattychat show

*I am proud of you Know that you have turned from a Geri fan into a Kylie Minogue fan wwell done you made the right choice geri's a slapper, Kylie is a wonderful person.

*it is sad of a maddona fan coming to my Kylie Minogue baord and slagging of Kylie and prainsing Maddona. you know Kylie sings live in concert and has a good even some miht say great voice. Maddona mimes at it she is rubbish the slubbery gabbooon. so sick of this Maddona fan to threaten to get my baords close down you pumpernickel

Oh Sarah Ure, you madcap little piece! Just where will you pop up next?