I was faced with a choice, at a difficult age. Would I write a book, or should I take to the stage

Friday, November 11


As per our instructions, she’s doing "Like A Prayer" on Sunday along with Emily’s fabulous "Whitney and Britney hour" on what is officially the gayest Australian Idol show ever (except maybe for the period in season two where Anthony and Ricki-Lee were both still in it). This is the most success this website has ever had, you know. Someone doing as they’re told (by us). It’s so rare! And we’re going to push our luck a little bit more by issuing the following "further and better particulars" down the "De Rouge" hotline that we clearly have here…

HELLO KATE! How do you do etc

GREAT to see you are doing Like a Prayer on Sunday! And given that you now have a very real shot at the final, we really think IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD if you take our additional advice. You know we don’t ask for much at all but NOW WE REALLY MUST INSIST ON THE FOLLOWING:

1. Like A Prayer must commence with this: (spoken) “God?”. We cannot stress this enough.

2. We mean it. You just go, “God?”, then wait a second, then start.

3. You will be loved forever if you do this.

3. Er…accessorise! Wear a sash round your middle or something (if you must)!

4. We understand there is a small team dedicated to nothing else but doing your hair. Just keep a bit of an eye on them perhaps.

5. Do you really have a pet corgi? Why have we not seen this? You had better ensure that little dog is sitting fucking prominently in the audience this week. The word is that Emily’s comedy baby (which we still consider does not actually exist) is appearing on the show this week, and you’ll need something good to counter the pathos that will predictably result from that GROTESQUE CHARADE OF TEARS AND JOY AND TEARS.

6. And you’re doing "Heaven" too we see. Obviously this should be the arms-aloft, sped-up DJ Sammy version and not the droning Bryan Adams version. IS THIS POSSIBLE, KATE "DE ROUGE"?

Love from Fop


At 11:18 am, Blogger Edward O said...

Upon hearing this news, a little tiny piece of me died and went to heaven.. HAHA DO YOU SEE WHAT I JUST DID.

I would also settle for the lovely "ballad" version of "Heaven" as also featured on the DJ Sammy CD-single, the Candlelight mix, I believe it was called.

I will be voting for Kate at least 5 times anyway, because she is not a boy and is not going to ruin the most significant pop single of the last 50 years and thus by extension EVER, so if she's good I will drain the credit from my phone to ensure she wins over the insane girl and the camp and rubbish punk. Hooray!

At 12:45 pm, Blogger Mel said...

That first photo of Kate was the first proof I've had that she does indeed have unfortunate upper arms.

(And I speak as someone whose upper arms are so unfortunate that she has consciously modified her waving technique so it's more like the look of one hand clapping.)


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