I was faced with a choice, at a difficult age. Would I write a book, or should I take to the stage

Wednesday, June 8


You know, these days you cannot turn on any sort of electrical device without hearing someone or other BANGING THE FUCK ON about so-and-so being on "the R&B tip". And we've always wondered to ourselves - where IS this tip located? And if so many people are on it, who on earth could be on the very bottom?

Well viewers, we have something of an exclusive here, as we can not only show you THIS PICTURE OF THE ACTUAL R&B TIP:

but we can full on reveal that down the very bottom of the tip is Poor Old Whitney Houston (R Kelly and Deni Hines are not far away either):

Here are some things about the tip's most long-term resident.

1. She's "out of rehab and back to work!", according to that veritable font of reliability, her husband Bobby Brown
2. She is apparently to have a new album called "Twenty", signifying that she has had TWENTY LONG YEARS, in "the business" (which sounds a bit like some sort of euphemism. But anyway)
3. She is unlikely to do anything better than "I'm Your Baby Tonight", her official Best Song Ever
4. Her favourite city in the world is Miami. "Damn I love Miami," she once blustered to an audience there
5. She once auditioned to play the meaty role of Sondra Huxtable on The Cosby Show. (She lost the part to a woman with a moniker more suited to meaty roles, Sabrina Le Boeuf)
6. She was accused of "acting like a prima donna" at the occasion of Nelson Mandela's 70th birthday party
7. Annie Lennox once wrote her a terrific song called "Step By Step", which is not the NKOTB one. Remember? Yes
8. She has freely admitted to using various drugs, but not crack, which she explained on television "is for poor people"

Fop hereby issues a hearty "Hurrah!" for the R&B Tip and all of its unfortunate denizens.


At 7:40 pm, Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

HARR! *cackles*

I don't even need to bloody tell you that I'm 'all for' this kind of thing.

At 9:29 pm, Blogger popgoescanberra said...

Samantha Le Boeuf!!! Was that really her name? You are saying some incredulous things toda, Fop. Though I did have a teacher called Madame Poulet once. Ha!

Oh, and I reckon Whitney's best song is "Learned from the Best."


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