I was faced with a choice, at a difficult age. Would I write a book, or should I take to the stage

Monday, May 16


Dear Big Brother 2005,

We now really hate Nelson as per your clear intentions. Oh boy, we fully expect something REALLY VERY BAD/GOOD to come of the isolation of this absolute SHITHEAD. Kindly do NOT ruin our potential fun by getting this wrong, The Big Brother Producers. (ie, don't just place him back in the house as though nothing happened after a couple of nights. This will NOT be sufficient, we are telling you now.)

Love and kisses,
Dannii Fop


At 2:14 pm, Blogger la nadine said...

i think he should remain in isolation for the rest of the series/his natural life and be forced to think about what a complete fucklord he is.

perhaps we could throw a flesh-eating hyena into the room with him just for kicks.

oh wait, constance is already in there.

At 7:23 pm, Blogger Giant Michael said...

Does he get to watch the other contestants on a little television in his own Big Brother granny flat?

That's what they did on the last Big Brother UK: stuck two of the most brilliantly skanky ho's in a flat of their own, wait until they'd got bored enough to make underwear out of cake icing, and then let them watch the other contestants and dictate what nasty things they wanted to do to them (they baked them a cake with chilli powder in it, turned the showers to cold every time one of the boys went near them, etc.).

And then they let them back in, knowing what people had said about them behind their backs, which resulted in a mammoth chow down, with plates and punches being thrown, which nearly got the Big Brother production team into legal trouble!

Fun times...

Cheerio, Michael. xxx


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