MORE ON MELANIE "BLOODY" C

The eminently sensible Lee from out of Glitter for Brains has a beautifully pink and clever blog, and a timely query. "Dear Foppery," he begins prettily. "Do tell whether the new albumen is just bad-bad (c.f. 'Horizons') or veering towards that laughable-bad of that bobbins homeless track of 'Northern Star'."

Oh Lee. If only there was something on Beautiful Intentions that is as high-larious as That Homeless Song. (There isn't!) It would make us feel slightly less sickened by the entire affair. Because, guess what: it's a self-important, dull RACKET, this album (except, actually, for "Next Best Superstar" and "Better Alone", which both have halfway-decent choruses with chords that resolve satisfactorily). To cheer us up after we got The Melanie C, we literally had to rebalance ourselves by spending an entire week listening to nothing but this:

It's a bit sad really, that The Melanie C has made such a hash of it. There's a line on "Better Alone" where she sings, "I have worked so hard for you," and it's pretty evident that she HAS. But that is just what comes across - something workmanlike and joyless. Therefore, she should really drop herself from her own label that only has her on it, sign to All Around The World and pick up a couple of Dannii Minogue/Kelly Llorenna pop-trance rejects to warble over (we are aware that this is our answer to every problem ever. It's excellent advice though, surely.)