I was faced with a choice, at a difficult age. Would I write a book, or should I take to the stage

Tuesday, April 26


1. Candee Jay is a woman in pop.

She is a Dutch! Her album came to us just recently, across the seas, since Australians are apparently entirely too interested in that shit-merchant Jack Johnson to want even a single bar of Candee. But this is a wonderful album! Thrilling, gorgeous, hands in the air pop-dance/trance, with some of the saddest and most plaintive lyrics ever from out of western Europe. These, we think, convey delusion, joy, madness and love (to wit: "When are you coming back for me? For no-one else can be your girl. When are you coming back to see, that it's a lonely world for me." That's from out of Back for Me, which you also get the video for. Candee is doing an astonishing dance routine on a Dutch naval frigate in a "flags of the world" dress with her good girlfriends, as she wiles away the days till her preposterous boyfriend gets out of the "service" where he makes the sex eyes to his commanding officer instead of mopping the decks. YES, it is as good as you would think!)

And check the cover of this album - she is clearly putting her head on! Like, clicking it into place, for another day of banging out beepy, girly Euro-pop which is EXACTLY what we like. Hilary Duff, would it be SO hard for you to do this sort of thing, as opposed to the turgid works you presently appear to favour? Seriously, even though the cover makes the whole thing seem quite cheap somehow ("Just what are Candee Jay's resources, exactly," queried our friend Scott a time ago when we were trilling something incoherent about Ms Jay to him), she managed to get a friggen DUTCH NAVAL FRIGATE for the clip for the second single. Therefore, financially speaking it does not appear to be all bad news for Candee J (<-- look at that non-highlarious legal joke!).

2. Ms Fits is sort of a woman in pop insofar as she is patently a woman, has a music collection including a rare Bardot CD single (which she doesn't even seem to care much about, sadly), a radio show that plays Annie and a just generally glamourous air. Like, she likes hot boys, flowers in her hair, polka dots, and our very favourite band ever Aqua ("but in a shit way," she helpfully explained later. Never mind).

We know it's competitive since, as we keep shrieking, she's the sort of woman that should really have one millions gays festooned around her at all times. Regardless, there appears to be a position open and so we have applied for a position as Fits's leading gays. We might not get the "part" since due to some liberties we took "upon" her rather pleasing consort. But you never know DO YOU VIEWERS.

3. Our Dear Miz Culture is indubitably a woman in pop. What's more, she is doing a whistle-stop tour of Melbourne presently! Just try and catch her! She was over at Fop towers yesterday, doing something of an comedy signing of Ausculture printouts for the screaming punters. And then, we forced her to view the Steps greatest hits DVD, which rather took her seemingly limitless fancy (particularly the parts where poor Lisa Scott-Lee tries to introduce the songs. Has anyone ever noticed the furious sideways look she casts, presumably at Claire, when she's introducing "It's the way you make me feel" and says that the song's her favourite since "we ALL got a chance to sing lead vocals"! What a humourously bitter little Welshwoman!)

Melbourne officially HEARTS Jessculture. Simply move here, please.

And we haven't even begun to tell you about the other wonderful bloggers we delighted ourselves with on the weekend! Ms Cat, Ms Fish, Mr Fare Evader, Mr Barker particularly - your sartorial elegance and your graceful way with chopsticks and then, a karaoke microphone, should not be overlooked. Thank you ever so for being you. Let's play again shall we? Answer = "Yes".

That will be all, then.


At 12:38 pm, Blogger Jellyfish said...

I'm not a woman in pop? I went to the Bardot concert, you know. I PAID for a ticket. I even bought the souvenir program. I promise I wasn't the only person there aged over 14.

At 12:57 pm, Blogger Fop said...

Actually, you are all women in pop. Even the two boys. We just ran out of time! But Jellyfish, your avowed background as a member of a Spice Girls tribute act in the mid-late 90s leaves us in no doubt as to your fabulous pop woman status...


At 1:02 pm, Blogger Jellyfish said...

Heh. I think I might post a photo of that some day. Just. For. You!

At 3:54 pm, Blogger Fop said...

That would be EXCELLENT. WE cannot WAIT.

On a Spice note, have you ever read Crystal's lizzings about her rather similar experience to yours? It's very good:

At 7:42 pm, Blogger Alyson with a Y said...

Does writing FOR the Pop count us?

Or are we just women of stupidity!



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