NIKKI, HURRAH! 2005: LATEST DEVELOPMENTS

Viewers, it seems our joint campaign of Nikki Webster support in her Dancing With The Stars efforts is gaining so much momentum! Let's consider what on earth is going on round the "traps":

1. CRYSTAL, the chief architect of the whole movement, is looking alarmingly like she might be about to topple off the bandwagon that SHE HERSELF HELPED BUILD, and principally designed! Yesterday there was talk of supporting Susie Wilks in the event that we cannot support Nikki. We give our in-principle support to this, but we'd need to work out exactly how that support would be "rolled out". And today we see Crystal has set out a fairly distressing list of all the people she's liked for five seconds then dumped, this year, suggesting that Nikki may well be treated similarly come Friday. Now COME ON! We can't be fickle about Nikki! (can we?) We're reacting against that! We support her unconditionally, remember? STAY ON THE BANDWAGON CRYSTAL! We're so happy here! (And the Nikki novels idea is truly great! Webster's Dictionary! HA!)

2. MICHAEL from the Love Pavilion and from Overseas has taken some time out from his solid schedule of listening to Patrick Wolf's amazing new album (name of Wind in the Wires! Ours arrived yesterday! More on that soon!) and provided a wonderful response to our query yesterday about how on earth Dancing With The Stars is even on the television. Consider the spinoffs that the adorable Michael enumerates which have ACTUALLY HAPPENED in the UK. This is so the route that this country as going down (not that we mind, as long as Nikki continues her involvement).

3. JELLYFISH, has banged out a brilliant, sympathetic and insightful study of Nikki's career trajectory to date, and the attendant derision with which it has met. She has not, however, inserted her new Nikki banner in the correct position! Do you need one of Crystal's assistants to come round and help with this?

4. CFB GOES POP are about to unveil the first draft of their script of Spiderwebster, their new Nikki-related TV show! They will be hard pressed, though, to beat the genius of their mooted Nikki Sitcom (a sample: "While looking for the dog, Nikki discovers a whole new world in the city, including a wild bar "Neil's" (run by Shannon Noll), a grumpy dancing cat (Ian "Dicko" Dickson), and a theatre teacher with some strange methods (Tina Thomsen)."). We are really sad if this is dead in the water.

5. LITTLE "L'IL" KIM was to be enlisted in the campaign to help Nikki out, since she is apparently one of Nikki's favourite artists (this appears, amazingly, to be true, according to an old Smash Hits we have "lying around")! However, that isn't going to be happening as Kim is in a spot of bother presently. Poor The Little Kim!



6. AUSCULTURE have been promising to punch out an original song in support of Nikki, name of "You're a Z-List Actress, Holly Brisley". We look forward to Jess's unique musical "take". We believe this to be happening ANY DAY NOW!

7. FREEWAY 9 haven't done any Nikki stuff since the excellent Webster-Webster compare and contrast. But that WAS very good. How about a little bit more in this vein?

8. Half of THE SYMPOSIASTS have thrown their weight behind the campaign. It's not a joke, though, Guy! We really do like her. And Elanor, perhaps you would like to provide your thoughts on Australia's favourite non-Mary princess? Go on.

9. SOMEONE going by the name of Holly's Top Fan is causing some trouble over at the official Holly Messageboards! Why not pop over and help them out?