I was faced with a choice, at a difficult age. Would I write a book, or should I take to the stage

Monday, May 3

Big Brother 4: No gays, just Queenslanders

* Quite how a house full of idiotic blonde Gold Coast denizens is likely to revive the fortunes of this program is simply out of my grasp.
* However, there's a dumb-as-a-post 20 year old surfer-type boy on it who likes to wax his arse crack. So that should keep things at least watchable for a time, wouldn't you think?
* I note that my idea for the big "secret" for series 4 was NOT used (to have a severely intellectually disabled housemate who requires 24 hour attention. Though, after seeing some of the Queenslanders, etc).
* Gretel Killeen is looking better than ever! Fop Management wish to reiterate our love for that woman.

Best Gretel bit last night (1):
- Gretel: So you want to marry a handsome, rich man?
- Contestant: Yep.
- Gretel: Well you can get in line behind me.

Best Gretel bit last night (2):
- Gretel (to little boy in the audience dressed as a house): So who's your favourite contestant so far?
- Little boy dressed as a house: Merlin.
- Gretel: And what do you like about Merlin?
- Little boy dressed as a house: His looks.


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