Fop.

I was faced with a choice, at a difficult age. Would I write a book, or should I take to the stage

Wednesday, April 7

Now it's not really part of the Fop undertaking to speak of such things

But Fop has more than a little to say about the state of affairs at Melbourne radio station Triple R.



Particularly, I have enjoyed their breakfast team, and like to listen to it when I walk to work. It features, daily, these presenters:
* Fee Bee Squared, who chooses all the songs (and she does play some very good things, such as Avenue D "Do I Look Like A Slut?" and the 5 6 7 8s song "Woo Hoo" on moderately high rotation)
* Tony Wilson who is smart and funny and nice, and really ought to be the Prime Minister of Australia
* Angus Sampson, of "Greeks on the Roof" fame and also the Maggi noodle ads


Their show is the only, in my view, listenable breakfast radio option in Melbourne. Of course I would like it better if they played more pop, but for some reason, I don't mind hearing all manner of new and "independent" music at 7am. I don't even mind that Fee Bee Squared is completely not on board with the new Liz Phair album which is the best thing Liz has ever cranked out (Fee Bee Squared, one day last year, played "Extraordinary" from that album and then noted after reporting the song's title, that the rest of the album "wasn't". Oh, how I was momentarily enraged.). I am content to be instructed, during the mornings, as to what is cool. I know now about rather good bands like TZU and Sime Nugent and the Forefathers that I wouldn't have otherwise. And Fee is not shy about punching out a Peaches track, also. Good!

The problems really began when Angus Sampson did not return with the rest of the team at the end of Triple R Summer Breakfasters. Instead, they retained a fellow called Sam Pang, who frankly would be better suited to student radio, or perhaps an "off-air" role. He seemed none too bright, and I think perhaps he just doesn't "fit". Working as I do in an office, I know about "fit". When you're told that you simply don't "fit", it is an amorphous and just hilarious way of saying that you're actually fired. Sam Pang doesn't fit. But I think he might be a friend of Tony's and perhaps this is how he got the job. He just isn't, I'm a bit sorry to say, as smart as the other two. And far too unfunny to be in the "third banana" role that Angus was in, and John Safran before him. I found it terrible to listen to. Then I heard that Angus would not be back at all as he is to become a famous celebrity instead! Well. I just had to pen out a big spit to the Triple R station manager registering my horror about the Pang. I got a very nice letter back saying that people had actually been very positive about Pang and that I was the only person who didn't like him.

I have tried to get used to him, but I can't. And Angus is back this week for one week only, and the difference is rather pronounced. It is a relief, not to have to hear a conversation between two intelligent and funny people and one who doesn't get them, but tries to, very hard.

But now my views on Pang might be changing, as I have found out what he looks like! The news is GOOD. You see, he's HOT.

What to do? I imagine I should continue to denigrate him. As the Scissor Sisters rightly say, "You can't see tits on the radio."

Oh, Sam Pang. Can't you just be quiet and attractive somewhere I can see you, rather than polluting the airwaves with uninformed dickheadry?

Well, CAN'T YOU?

(Isn't he adorable?)

EDIT: Apparently the links to the photos of the Breakfasters personnel are not working. Why is this? Has the person whose site they were on suddenly yanked them out of my grasp? It seems so. You might have to have a look at them all here.

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