I was faced with a choice, at a difficult age. Would I write a book, or should I take to the stage

Tuesday, April 27

Ill-Conceived Ideas Department presents: "Get the Party On" by The Cheeky Girls: A child welfare worker perspective

Fop's resident child welfare professional Doris Spindlethrift provides critique and comment on the most competent piece of output from Romania's finest.

Doris Spindlethrift

Mother: Hello! Monica, Gabriela, where are you?
Doris Spindlethrift writes: So she's mislaid her own daughters. Not promising.

Girls: Last night I left my mama writing a song. Ooh, whee! Do the cheeky cheeky!
DS: As is so often the case in single-parent families, discipline is tricky when mother's attention is focused on work rather than parenting. "Ooh, whee!" is rather alarming to me. These teenage strumpets are clearly gearing up for a night on "the tiles", aren't they. No good.

Boys were all waiting and the party was on. Ooh, whee! Do the sneaky sneaky!
DS: Yes, I see. Waiting for what, is the question. "Relations". Well, they won't be waiting for you when you get yourself in a family way, mark my words.

We love to boogie and we're not going to stop. You and me! Feeling cheeky cheeky!
DS: A concerning lack of constraint is exhibited here by these Transylvanian lollipops. They can be so difficult, the teenage years.

Dancing all night and now we're feeling so hot. Ooh, whee! Can you feel the heat? Can you feel the heat, tonight?
DS: No I certainly can't! And overheating and exhaustion are two of the prices you can expect to pay for a night of debauchery like this. Though, an upside here is that this discotheque has, perhaps, better heating than Mother Cheeky can afford for her family at home through the piddly sales of her home-crafted "novelty" tunes.

Get the party on. Get the party on!
Get the party on. Get the party on!
All night long! Singing mama's song!
DS: Quite catchy, I suppose.

Ooh baby hide me now my mama has come! Ooh, whee! Do a sneaky sneaky!
She's gonna catch me and a smack-a my bum! Ooh whee! Do a cheeky cheeky!
DS: Yes, well you do have to discipline children from time to time. This sounds rather violent though, doesn't it? Monica and Gabriela are clearly running scared at this point. Not the best approach, Mother Cheeky.
Turn up the music and my mama will dance. You and me! Feeling cheeky cheeky!
DS: It does seem that Mother Cheeky is part of the problem for these tearways. Smacking, dancing - what sort of example, and so forth.
Lost in the rhythm of this cheeky romance. Ooh, whee! Can you feel the heat? Can you feel the heat, tonight?
DS: I must say I am finding this case terribly difficult to follow.

Fop Management: That's fine, thank you Mrs Spindlethrift. You've been most helpful!
DS: You're more than welcome, young man.
Fop Management: I'll get your coat.
DS: It's the clear plastic mac, dear.


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