I was faced with a choice, at a difficult age. Would I write a book, or should I take to the stage

Monday, December 15

What the HELL is going on here

I spied the new single (name of "Milkshake") by the delightful Kelis on the telling vision on Saturn's day morn.

In the chorus, she repeatedly bellows the following:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
And they're like, "It's better than yours".
Damn right, it's better than yours.
I can teach you - but I have to charge.

It's from this album, which I suppose I'm just going to have to buy straight away.

Can you remember Kelis. Her first single was called "Caught Out there" and had a very distinctive chorus also, in which she professed to "hate you, so much right now! I hate you, so much right now! Oooooh!" etc etc etc etc

Anyway, about this Milkshake business:

1. Why does she want all the boys in her yard anyway?
2. Who is the "yours" referring to? ie, whose milkshake is Kelis's better than?
2A. How is it that the boys in Kelis's yard are addressing the listener? ("And they're like, "It's better than yours".) Are they even TALKING about a milkshake, or something else.
3. Is she honestly planning on charging someone for teaching them how to make a freaking MILKSHAKE?
4. Is she running some sort of catering college?

I'm damned if I know the answer to any of these questions 1-4 (above). If you can assist me, why not send me an explanatory memorandum of some kind.

It really is an excellent song, however, even though I'm manifestly too stupid to understand what it all means.

Another good thing about it is the video! It's set in a diner of some kind, and Kelis is causing all sorts of problems for the people in the diner as she's sitting up at the counter, bold as brass, drinking her milkshake in a most lascivious fashion. What's more, there's a little "ding" in the song every now and then, such as would be made by a finger bell or similar, and when it occurs, it is matched in the video by the cook in the diner dinging a little bell to say that the customers' food is ready, or a light coming on somewhere in the diner.


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